Gossip Machine

2009-09-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

Hello. Sorry, sometimes, i keep posting but never tell you guys whats going on with my life. stupid huh. ok, moving on. well, nothing much la. Everyday dance. yeah. and some day training. thats all. But this month till end of the year. Super pack crazy . My schedule going haywire i guess. HAHA! ok let see, muse coming up, serious training in bboy cause i tried the choreo and i almost die there. Like seriously. I got bruises everywhere. My shoulder, knee, elbow cause i need to learn one power move, if i believe it called SWIPE is it? dont noe eh. I just do it but fun actuali, i feeling2 ninja when doing all these crazy moves. GAMBATE raizal! you can do it!

Eh, insomia is sooo permanent sickness to me la. HAHAH. now, its almost 7 am eh still awake .Should be sleeping by now cause later need to wake up and sent off sajuto to batam. He keep insisting not too, but i refuse to heed his advice for the first time. So yeah, probably going with Isya . Then, head off to RP for Flair practice. WAH! tired isnt? imagine from habourfront go to woodland. SUPER FAR. i know, but nvm la. Its ok =)

Ok, i cant wait for tmr sharing session with jer. Yeah. but i need a long rest this week, cause HARI RAYA is coming! yeah. Not excited actuali but you get my point. HAHAHA. okok. -___-

I find her a lil bit confusing? she just in a mild of confusion, dont noe who she likes .Then, she call me irratating and said i pisses her off. SOOOO.. 0.0. yeah, you get what i mean. I mean like, what did i do? you dont like it to hear it, then say, no need to post in blog. Haiya! so errr... nvm.

okok. end here, i need to sleep la. BYE2

2009-09-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

I try to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. So I don’t. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too… but I’ll never know.

Hey, get this. "The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad. "

and For that..... *looks down and sigh*

2009-09-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

I dont know where to start . You know, the moment when everything just turn haywire without single meaningful reason. Oh well, i know whats the reason is but however, knowing the reason does not mean understanding the reason. I kinda confuse about the whole thing and to be completely honest dear, im falling in love all over you. ok, fcuk those people saying they dont believe love at first sight but i do. I still remember, i met you for the very first time. Oh, it was camp. Kinda nostalgic but i do remember every bits of moment here and there because i cant seems to forget those beautifully disaster things that we experienced. I know, you are stupid, being so oblivious . And here i am, hoping a NEVER-GOING-TO-HAPPEN miracle just fall into the right place. I dont blame you but instead , i blaming everything on myself for turning to what i am now. I feel dirty for once, like a desperate wannabe fantasizer freak ass jerk. And i dont like it. Oh well, guess the word "move-on" does come in handy in my life. At first i thought, i dont need it cause everytime i told myself, hey, i want to treasure every person or moment in my life even though is bitter or sweet. Guess, life does not work like that way huh? pity, but hey, reality is bitch, believe or not , you got to accept it. I dont WANT to but i HAVE to. =)))

When loves sucks, dance save the day aite angie? she told me that every dancers thinks alike. I do believe tat. Dancing has been a major part of life. Cause, i dont noe, is a something i enjoy, love and cherish. And oh yeah, it feels so great expressing yourself with the music through dance. Is something like distress therapy kinda bullshit thing but dance, its way more fun believe me people. I always do that, thanks to my dancemates that keep telling me "FEEL! FEEL" and i was like " OK, you want me to feel?! i show you what i feel now" and oh damn crap yaw, i just express whatever i feel with music that matches my feeling, gosh, its amazing. As a dancer, i have the responsibility. I wanna dance, to inspire people cause to me, every dancers in this world, they are my inspiration. And hey, dance is one way to get socialize huh? i meet alot of new friends. Love cheerie, Shaq, Mel, Deyou, Kianfai and the freshie IGs. thanks for making my IG days more like FUN days. =)

2009-09-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

Oh shucks, How much i hate this feeling right here. Is soo painful and almost drain my energy out. I cant feel the pwer i had before.Gosh, this is the first time i experience a different way of living, i might said. How i wish i can be back to secondary school. No complications of something called "Love" or whatever relating to it. Pls, i need my time. alone

2009-09-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I have the definite answer in my hand but I somehow refuse to accept the cruelity of reality that I myself feel that it was unfair. You know, it was like as if you know is better off without that someone but somehow you freaking care about that person, hold onto that person expecting a FAT HOPE chance. It was freaking piss off situation to be at, but thats the beauty of life. You get hurt and you learn from it. But the question is, does love is beyond your imagination or it is just a one dimensional thought.Beat me, I myself did not know. =))

I think, you are almost the end of the chapter inside my book and i happy to spent every little fucking moment with you coz i love it =). You are the best and i wont forget. =)

2009-09-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

I think im done with blogger and wanting to join tumblr instead, thanks to giselle from hip hop IG. Oh well, blogger is kind of lame nowadays with the unnecessary mischaps here and there. Sometimes, I wonder what in the world are the manager doing? Smoking some cigrattes in a chair, shaking his/her damn leg waiting for money to check into his/her account. Bloody piss with this people sometimes. Hello, wake up call!

I have been spending my time dancing almost everyday, well, except for the weekend of course. I got to say, muscle aching is inevitable, and the worst of all, junior showcase is coming up soon and to be completely honest people, IM NOT READY. My group is in the shit mess and we are not even done with the item. Good isnt it? -_____- well, even though I have the tittle of being the leader, I wasnt acting like one cause you see, being a leader is not really my cup of tea. So, in the end, putting me as the leader was like hanging paper in the wardrobe. 0.0 that isnt make any sense at all. Oh well, after all, is junior showcase, is was just like do it or die.

Sometimes I find ourselves being in deepshit when it comes to falling in or out of love. It was like as if love is a venus flying trap or something. And oh yeah , you are the insect. Once you been caught by it, thats it people, you either die inside the plant's stomach or come out survive( which i doubt so). I hate to undergo complications because i find it personally ridiculous and redundant. Sometimes, things are easy, we just see it as complicated. Damn.

I think im over you , ase. You are one of the hell stupid mindless creature that are so oblivious to your surroundings. Sometimes, how i wish we are in the cartoon world, where i can just "pop" any weapons out of nowhere and kill you that instant. Obviously, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE. but that just beauty of it. I can keep toturing the hell out of you. And i shall name the show " the adventure of raizal and his fucking lover" =)))))

OK, i shall end peeps cause i should go to school early tmr but i doubt so. Hey, i told you , im NOT a morning person. Loves, rye-zal

2009-09-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

Pheww, Natasha battle is over . Yea, I won the hip hop category battle. I would like to take this opportunity to thank ALLAH for his forever support and blessing, friends and dancers who has been a super super super great help, my dearest member of E6 dancers and Flair Nation for their support and trainings and of course my family. =) WOHOO!

As dancers, we have responsibilities to ourselves. If you ask me how i improve in a very short moment, I would say IT IS NOT A SHORT MOMENT YALL. hahahaha. I have been dancing since secondary school days and I have been kicking my ass to work hard from there. But that does not matter. What matters is how I get motivated? Hmm. For me, I always remind myself with this phrase " If you think you can or if you think you cant, THEN YOU ARE RIGHT" It is all in the mindset. If you think you can do something, Whatever it might be, then end up you are right , you can do this. If you think you cant, then too bad, you end up , you are right too. Therefore, it is all in the mindset. =))

Of coz, you need to push yourself. Without practice, it will not be perfect aite?

But when it comes to the dance part, Just feel and dance coz whateveer you learn will fall through. =))).

YEA again, i get in muse hip hop audition which is under GIN oschool. hahaha. The audition is quite tough though cause most of them cant get in and only three freshie out of like how much? 20 + get through. Im glad my friends who get in and to those didnt, KEEP TRYING, dont give up yeah?

Ok, Weekends is of coz, my dance day off. hahaha. Hey, i need a time out man. I need to jst breathe and enjoy life instead. hahahaha . Bye earthlings!.

2009-09-01T10:12:00.001-07:00

Hello dear earthlings. Hello. Hello. Hello

These days, I feel so sian. I dont noe why, Everyday went for dancing, its ok la. Some days, i just went there for fun and some days I went to train to bullet sweats lei. Power! hahaha. But I dont noe why, I feel so stress and tense up over dance. Maybe lack of support? yea. I think so. Haiz. Sadden by reality.

Guess i end here. tired and lazy to post. heheheheheh.

2009-08-28T18:28:00.000-07:00

Blog has been pain in the arse. Can the manager or whoever take in-charge of this mischap please jollywell solve it or we ( more like me) dont hesistate to delete my blog. So, troublesome. Tsk!. I have been an owl for the past few days , and in the end my dearest friends know my habit of " Waking up in the morning equivalent to hell". Surely enough, im nt a morning person. So yeah, morning schedule is soo off my planning. Sorry yeah. Speaking of which, tmr is exceptional as I have jam and i need to report there at 12.30. Dammit, too early for me. -___________-

ok, guess, school is soo over my mind right now. hahaha. guess i occupying my time for dance and oh well, playing sims for the time being. Hari Raye, errrr, let said NOT IN THE MOOD. YET. ok

remind me people of the world, I need to save my money to pay off my debt. ARRR!. For the t-shirt and the shoe. Stress2.

2009-08-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

Something is really wrong with blogger, facebook and even MSN these days. Is the technology has gone wrong or the world has come to the end? Is hasnt reach 2012 yet right? *started tripping* hehehe. I am indeed been occupied these days. Fasting month has came, so yeah, is a superb time to feel how poor people been treated without food in daylight. However, dancing has been my second priority (after studying). So, i was packed with training, practise and battle competitions. WAH! ok. I guess after Natasha studio battle comp, i take a quick break though. ok, wish me luck for tmr test. bye2.

2009-08-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

Monday 's blue. Seriously, I think my blog is dying. Do not blame me people, I was busy these days with schooling and dancing. Everyday, went for dancing since I am planning to join FTL with dear Benjy. Do not discriminate or underestimate us because you see, we are different and unique. And being unique is special. Bear in mind, sure we are not as great as what you think but basically, we are just doing one thing, DANCE. =)))

After school, might be studying with luqman or alone. Depends on him really. UT3 is around the corner and jolly well I ace this test or not, I will be hating on myself. =P And I need a REAL sleep soon. Been sleeping late and waking up early = zombie . HAHAHA.

Ok, Im cheerful and bubbly and I wont cried infront you, Hey, its life, We need to move on and learn from our mistakes. BYebye

2009-08-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

Dear my imagination friend,

You inspired me. You taught me something. You fight for something you want. You always a winner and never a loser because you believe that the word 'loser' is never ever in your dictionary. Even though you got hurt countless of times, never did I expect you stand your own two feet and still fighting for something you want. You truly one of a kind. How I wish I am as brave as you are now. You love him so much,not wanted him to let go from your hands. You fight for him even though you lost everything you have gained. What could be better than a great sacrifices. But sadly, you are gone now. Leaving the world, more importantly , me. How i wish you are here to tell me what to do . I love you, my imaginationary friend.

2009-08-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

Pheww, I made in time to update my blog. It is 6 am in the morning and I decided to update my blog. Not fret, I will not leave my blog fills with cobwebs and dust. *time to clean up*

I guessed, facebook is such a dick these days with numerous bugs which caused them to be functioning in slow pace. Pisses me off sometimes but I am hoping things will get better. *sheesh* and talking about facebook, today was TOTALLY mundane day. Nothing much, went out to eat and watch love movie marathon + Naruto previous episodes. How I wish life can get more interesting thatn typical saturday.

Thanks Andy for sending songs to me. Thanks to my laptop for keeping accompany. Thanks waffle and ice cream from releasing my stress. THanks arh.

2009-08-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

My 101th post, crap nonsensical stuffs that had been written here. Seriously, crap. shoo!

I have been going back late these days, well, obviously some you guys who are dilligent enough to see me with SGC peeps. We are practicing for our NDP performance which held at south agora this coming thursday. Those I "pesonally" invited, better get your fat ass to see my crew and I performing, and to those I didnt tell, sorry hor. Next time, I tell you liao!

I really wanted to go for larry and gin class but due to this mischap, I have to skip, next week, die2 must come. I miss larry and gin la, they are like my mother and father siol. EWW.

ok, end here, too tired to post la. bye2 people of the sweet arseholes.

2009-08-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

A friend that cares is a friend that shows he/she hates you. However, no matter how deep is your hurt, they always care for you the most. Once a angel told me, he hates me and he did not want to see me. But clueless as I was, he knows when Im hurt and needed. He was there, to show a slightest caring moments but is pretty obvious that he cares for me the most. Perhaps, this is nature of a human. Thank you angel, and may you rest in peace. Always be remembered.

2009-07-31T09:45:00.000-07:00

thats it, relax and get lost.

2009-07-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

NDP rehearsal everyday. Im tired but I wanna practice on my basic. ARRR, so occupied. LOL

2009-07-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

With such notion that was been raised up by my peers, I was taken aback by their responds. Well, others just simply refused to accept as the fact that they think love is a complicated living creature that breathes but at the same time it dies away when it was not needed.Therefore, the above article concluded everything, which somehow to be one-sided but come to think of it, do you ever think that the notion stated is logical and incredible? If you think deep enough, you know what it trying to say. I believed that I knew what it was meant, and I am lucky enough to have different point of views from different types of people. Be it straight, homosexual and bisexual. Most of them agrees to it as love goes beyond your imagination. I just realised that I cared too much on physical appearance that to be honest, drive me nuts, but never did I realised there certain things that are way more important than that. So does others, being so self-conscious about themselves, unconsciously being a mean person hurting others. I did not mind, because I was been trained to be open-minded in everything in life. That's why I mixed with different types of people. Friends are unlimited, moreover, knowing their backgrounds, just captivated you.

Love to me? Love is a creature. It does breathe, but what makes it special is that there are open-minded creature; does not even think on choosing people. I was inspired by watching movie regarding love goes beyond everything such as CINTA, Love of Siam, love is cinta and etc. I did not get people these days, being so TYPICAL. Following whats on their freaking mind, but ignoring whats in your heart. Heart is the only living core that tells the truth, mind are liars. Some of you beings, asking , "raizal, do you have any relationship before?" and I was like "no". This is because, my hearts tell nothing when I meet someone. Even they are good-looking, pretty, have a good heart and whatsoever, I entrusted my heart. Crushes and flirts comes under mind, love ( true love to be exact) comes under heart. Sometimes, I wonder if I like this person, should I just fight for it and be a winner or leave it to fate to handle, thus befitting a true loser?

I told Chris that time, I said to her " Chris, I envy you "

she asked, "why?"

Sometimes, being so simple-minded is gifted talent. She told me something that I kept thinking these days. If a person you like don't like you, forget about him/ her. Then how about being a winner and a loser? Simple respond from her. " You need two hands to clap together. If you are fighting and the other party does not, it is unfair relationship " It was true after all, and I was being so stupid to fight all the way, for that particular someone. Thanks Chris.

People said to me that let fate decide which road you should drive. Sometimes, I leave it to fate to decide for me but however, I was bewildered when I thought that winner takes it all. However, in love, no doubt, complication do come in any ways but if we have the patience, we might conquer all. Like I said, Love goes beyond your imagination. Even theories cannot be explained.

Dance and school is tiring but I am persevering . * pat at my back*. I am happy, I slowly forgetting about you. Thank you =)

2009-07-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

Having cognitive lesson today. Is about debating which I am suck at. My team slack to the max but when it comes to questioning time,we answered back that faci like nobody bussiness which make the dicussion ended about 5 minutes. Had enough of RP routine of studying. Totally boring plus tiring.

I finished my worksheet way too early and now I have too much of free time I guess. During second break, Im going to do more research and opinions of others. Hate this part right here. But what to do , this is what called self-service learning.

I hate being ignore by the people I care because is just tooo irratating and hurtful. I could not stop myself from being nice because I love and care about my peers. Just YOU dont realise that you are part of it too. Too immature, too self-centered. Thank you =)

2009-07-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

I learnt something valuable but yet disappointing. It is good to have hopes but not too high because the result is unpredictable, which in the end cause hurt or satisfaction. I came to a conclusion, friends can come and go but however I still love each of them. They become my pillar of strength at times when Im down. To be honest, I having a heartbreak to see that my best friends and I are falling apart and treating each other like strangers. In poly, best friends are redundant where as friends is a must. However, being independant is something I must learnt. Throw the emotional moments and remember that I have families and myself to stay strong. Wah, I learnt something.

After school - Gym - dance - home. Im not tired because Im not tired. =)

2009-07-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

I am proud to say, My family has gone through tough times, be it individual or as together, but we are staying strong holding onto each other. We are not a perfect family since father left us, but what I am trying right now is to hold back every tears and put a smile in front of them. That is what I least I can do. From a fat kid to fat kid being bullied to aneroxic person to mean boy to actual human being. Im proud.=)

2009-07-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I was been emotionally drowned these days with confusion in my head. However, I found the answer, well, that is what I think. Sometimes, in life, you should not give up and make the impossible to become "Im possible" but there are things that cannot be change. Perhaps, I have been living in the world of fantasy too much lately and never did I realised that hey, back to reality. Miracles do happen but maybe God had plans for me, not this one. So , I guess I should just leave the way it is and pursue what I love to do the most. Well, it takes time to forget but I willing to give it a try. To you, thank you =).

2009-07-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

Had xuehui's dance class today. Everyone struggle, especially sajuto. He had really rough time there and I wanted to help him but I guessed I was too occupied with my dance. Unexpectedly, Xuehui thought I was a senior which really ridiculous. I had to show my dance to the whole IG, such a embarrassement. LOL. After dance, Isya, adam and me hangout around RP, dancing and goofing around. And danish said that I was being arrogant. Sheesh, I was not. Seriously, cause people thought I am , I mean do I look like one? LOL. Whatever it is, I apologised to him and promise to say "HI!" when I saw him. hehehe.

So went back home with Isya and adam. They kept laughing at my grades and my previous UT. I dont think I did that bad even though I was struggling the first starting of the year. I mean, come on, I taking A level standard which is unexpected. However, like he said, prove to them that you can do it. It a must. =)

I have to wear formal for tommorrow enterprise lesson. Oh gosh, Im going to look like a nerd. I guess I have to style up a lil bit. HEHE. ok, going to school chris tommorrow. Yeah.

I guess i end here. Bye2 people of the sun. !

2009-07-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

Science is such a HUGE dick today. Seriously, unknown and ridiculous words that swear to god I have not came across it, really trigger my button . Talking shit about omosis or is that the right word? I dont know, dont care, dont heck, dont drink, dont eat and dont sleep. I prefer chem or physic. I rest assured that I willing to be naked if I get an A which I dont think I can. B at least. =))))

Tommorrow, Is like when the world meets hell. COCKnitive. Learning the different types of COCK found in english problem solving process. Really troublesome that I really dont like. Like siolz la! Hu-Nieeya, You betta come or not, I will flying kick your ass to the maximum power. Or better, I headshot you with SMG gun. Shiok!

Currently,addicted to CS and Warcraft. Like hell yea! sandayo! ( inner sakura)

Tmr, IG starts. Dance, dance, dance. Tired!

ok end here! bye2 people of the sun! happy2 selalu!

2009-07-20T00:01:00.001-07:00

Yessah, I can play warcraft. HAHA. Geek much? whatever. I wanna play game when Im bored. Currently, addicted to warcraft and CS. Wth. Hahaha. Science, today = slack. Me and ah hui, keep talking and making jokes. Hahaha. Malcolm as usual, listen to music and chatting. LOL. Ok, gtg. BUBBLE TEA, I MISS YOU!!!!.

2009-07-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Weekends is the only days I take a rest from dancing. Therefore, taking advantage of the weekends, I went to lot 1 with dearest mum, sis and grandma as we accompany grandma to have her feet massage. I want it too anyway but I guess next time when I have enough $$. Then, went shopping, bought shirt then eat here and there. Gosh, I eat like a pig today but what to do , I love eating. Then went to cik zul house to collect CS game. Thanks anyway. and Thanks to Danish for sending another version of CS. Arigato, Gozaimas. Tmr, going to kuzzy danial's house to transfer warcraft game to my comp. LOL. im such a gamer la these days.Well, im a game designer. =)))))

2009-07-16T08:23:00.001-07:00

I felt that today was just simply plain and bold disappointment day. Knowing that things happen for a reason, not going to be the same and experiencing changes every step that we made, It was just a Piercy hurtful feeling that my comrades just gave me the "peace" sign and abadoned me. However, I believe that everyday is a learning process. Even though it was not dance that I learned today, but, I learned that Words are just Words. Words can be true and false. They choose false. =)

Ut was a major disappointment. Even though, I felt that I can just merely pass it but I was in the edge of breaking down when the first question popped up. Gosh, hope I can pass! Friends ? disappointment too. Changes leads to confusion that leads to disappointment. Sheesh! what a disappointment day! =)))))

2009-07-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

When I fall down, Who are going to help me?
When I cry, Who are going to be there with me?
When I sleet, Who are going to sing me a song?
When I angry, Who are going to be my punching back?
When I laugh, Who are going to entertain me?
When I am a winner, Who are the first one to congratulate me?

ANS: ME,MYSELF and I.

2009-07-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I was been a programmer after 2200 hours. I am seriously in the bad mood with Programmer UT tomorrow which I hope I pass. At least a C, I am elated. Gosh, Programming is such a torture which somehow kill me time to time. I need a good programming tutor. Help?

Today, I thought that I was dancing with "RP dance society" but most of them went for practice either at NYP or at Oschool. Thanks to ahmad and zhiwen for keeping me accompany and also not forgetting Suiling too. I saw sajuto doing his Bboying practice. Ok, I think I end here. Back to study. Sheesh!

2009-07-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

So, whatcha think?

2009-07-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

2009-07-13T08:33:00.001-07:00

Just came back from RP. Well, I will not repeat myself the reason why I came back late today. Had my UT today, overall, it was easy except the calculation thingy. These days I am soo into studying! LOL. GOOD raizal. OK end here!. BYE!

2009-07-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

Had SUPER UBER DUPER GUBBER fun today. Thanks to my dearest sister for the outing. She really pampered me alot, as well as abg nizam. THANK YOU!!!

2009-07-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

I had 12 hours of sleep, exaggerating much?
Basically, today I watched Naruto episode. I only watched the good episode where fighting and comedy involves and not those long - egged pathetic stories. Sorry. =) Supposedly, I have to go and support SGC and flair for their freetstyle dance battle but I guess I overslept. Do not blame me people, I had only less than 6 hours of sleep these past few days. I guess yesterday's sleep was a compensation instead. Hope it was a fair battle and let the best dancer win!

Monday is my enterprise UT. I had to squeeze my brain with all the information then. Sheesh.
Ok, gtg. sayonara people of the world.

2009-07-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

"Don't give up on trying to do what you really want to do
Where there is love and inspiration, we don't think you can go wrong. "

I have two feets and I am taking it slow and steady.
Don't rush me cause I have two feets.
This feets can take only 0.01 m/hour.
How I wish, I can be a scientist.
Then, I create a time machine
Going back time and undo my mistakes.

2009-07-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

Somehow, today's programming was easy for me. I completed every thing that problem statement wanted but never did I touch the enchancement question. I mean, it is not that I did not bother, just that I felt life you must take things one step at the time. Therefore, I will pat on my back for the achievement I had today. Yeah raizal!.

So, after school, went for dance practice. As expected, I saw lukman but somehow he was there for the sake of being there. He woke up late today and went to school with such a casual outfits. T-shirt,bermudas and slippers. I was like -.- . He told me that he did not want to practice today as he wanted to rest. I think he should cause of his troublesome back pain that really takes times to heal. Hope you heal soon shi fu. :P

Before practice, zhi wen and I went all around the school as he has alot of things to share with me. I am so lucky to have a friend like him that can cheer me up after my UT. Speaking of UT, I did just well, not as awesome as COCKnitive but alright. I hope I pass!

Oh yeah, before I forget, I wish andy, jan and all my SGC seniors good luck for your freestyle dance battle tommorrow. GAMBATE people!

I guess I end here with a smile =)))))). I want to read my NARUTO manga now. bye people of the sun!

P.S: eyebag alert! Need to have enough sleep nowadays!

2009-07-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

( I went into Drama Freak )

Practice with flair today. Dancing really helps me to get rid of stress in school and thank god, i repeat eh, thank god! School does not close early like previous days. Now, flair can prac at RP without thinking too much about whereabouts to practice. Tmr, science UT. Wish me luck!!. Gambate!

2009-07-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Wherever someone cares about you is the place to return.If you believe,and keep thinking about that person, your feelings will surely get across"

arigato naruto-kun. Yousomehowmademefeelthatlifeweshouldnotgiveup. You are such an inspiration. Hard to believe, but you truly one of a kind even though you are just a anime. cant believe I look up to a cartoon character. =)))

2009-07-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Reached home about 8 plus. Hang out with lukman before he went for dance practice with flair nation at NYP. COCKnitive UT was alright, I think I can pull off at the very least C. No more D's please, I can't take it anymore. Shessh. Tommorrow, Enterprise module. Please cheer me up when I reach the class. =)

and Oh yeah, Bloody RP, can you freaking back to normal cause I can't no longer withstand your stupidity rules. Our class are been assigned to Kofu canteen which the food taste like.... no comments and freaking XXX. H1N1, go away will ya? I miss SGC and my dearest nasi ayam and milk tea with double pearl at W1. =((((((

Sayonara.

P.S: thanks to mummy and sarah and chrissy who help me alot during my emotional moments. Thanks people of the sun!.:))))

2009-07-08T00:48:00.001-07:00

No comments. =)))

2009-07-07T04:53:00.000-07:00

Moshi2!. Just came back from school and waitin for my mother to bought for me food. BAN MIAN! hehehe. Oh ok, just now in school, I danced alone. Practicing like shit until 6.30 where the security give me the "get Lost" sign. Seriously, RP sucks these days. Dont ask why. Lukman asked me to follow him go NYP, and apparently, I rejected it. Coz FAR! and I need to revise for my UT. Pity me please. HAHA. Oh ok i guess I end here. Wishes for good healty to my dearest best class bud, Nieeya and dearest china friend, Machao. with love, raizal.

2009-07-07T00:15:00.000-07:00

[Work that cutey dress! LOL ]
Today lesson is soo COCKnitive, totally COCKnidry. I guessed my team did not perform that well, especially me as I was not being soo participative at all during the third meeting. Whatever. Will try harder next time. My dear friend, machao look sick. Hope he is alright. I irritate Wu Yu Jie alot of times and he said Im being irritating. =(. whatever. hahaha.

Tommorrow, Wish me luck for COCKnitive UT and maths lesson. And frad here, is irritating, keep asking question. -.-. sheesh.

I GOT THE POWER!.

2009-07-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

Lets dance and sing till late at night. WHO WANNA JOIN? YAHOOO

2009-07-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Heart pain

I surrender........

............................

......

2009-07-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

Today, Cousins and aunties and uncles and whoever came, came to our house for gathering. We have fun and slowly I began to heal this pain. I getting sick easily these days. I look weak. I dont noe. I guess I need redbull. redbull gives you wings!.

2009-07-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

ImUndergoingSomeSortOfTeenageProcessHere.
NoWonderIDontFeelLikeGoingOutTheseDays
EitherOrIDontLikePeopleComingToMyHouse
NoOffenseIWantToHaveAloneTime
SheeshTommorrowSchoolingFuckyou!.

2009-07-04T14:12:00.001-07:00

Once, a passerby said to me

"Relationship and friendship is like a bird.

If you dont grab it tightly, it will fly away

If you grab it too hard, It will die."

How true.

2009-07-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

Pheww, The truth is out. Well, not really but somehow I feel relived from this heartache. I dont know why Im stressin myself over this matter. It was not like I get what I wanted. People said, better to dream cause one day you will achieve it. But some dreams are just plain impossible. serious. There is nothing I can do. I cant work hard for it, not being negative but logically it is impossible. Gosh, Why I am being sooo emotionally about this matter. I am not this kind of person. sheesherz!.Fuck this person and get lost. I got better things to think about. Two times in row, not bad but what to do, LIFE. Sure, I am hurt but I guess Im the healer of my own wounds. =)... and to you, thanks for ignoring me like as if Im fucking care. WTH. I have dance and family to think about. Sure, friends come and go but you, oh gosh, you better GO. What a jerk!.

[READ BETWEEN THE LINE,BIATCH!]

2009-07-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go

Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream...

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.

2009-07-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

Im bored. totally. LOL
I need to move on.
I commit myself too much on this
Its time to let it go
Just go, I can do it.
Just let it go
go.

2009-07-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Watching each of us go to our seperate ways, is just overwhelming dont you think so?
We been best friends since the first starting of the secondary school and we grew up together during our teen's days. We started of with a big group, sooner , I realised who is my real friend. =) I love this arrangement by god. If I havent met you guys, I dont think I am what I am right now. Thanks best friends .... =) hugs and kisses.

thanks for backing up on those days

and I wont ever forget our memories together

TOO many memories to think about

I love each you guys individual ways

in very special ways.

Natasya

Zulaiha

Saras

XOXOXO

=')

2009-07-03T05:31:00.000-07:00

In life, God doesn't give you the people you want. Instead he gives you the people you need. to teach you, to hurt you, to love you and to make you exactly the way you should be.

I wonder..
God's fate
My fate
Can I change my own fate?

2009-07-03T03:30:00.000-07:00

Home at last. I thought I was being early to went home so I stopped by at BBP for a short while. I went to Popular bookstore, searching for novel to read. I know you readers are shock, so am I but I was bored these days. I need a break from dancing. Maybe a couple of days and enjoy every moment of my life. =) Not saying dancing have no enjoyment, just that I need rest and so called "save my sweats". Anyhu, I came across this wonderful novel which stupidly I forgot the title of the book. However, I remember the content. It is about a person leading a singlehood life searching the true meaning of love to oneself. I guess, somehow I can relate it to my life. Shessh. What the hell but I cant wait to earn money, save up and buy the book. =)

Sorry to say, my brother is being such a jerk. He wrote bad things in his facebook about us, family. He said he has no help from this family except grandmother. I mean for god sake, she is not working and she got her money from her own children dammit that happens to be your mother. WTH. Typically self-centered. Have you ever think what mother had done for us, especially you. You self-proclaimed that you are not close to father but to mother. Fine. Whatever. She show care and concern to you and you treated her like.... hard to describe but maybe this word might help. DIRT. Have you ever have the brain to think and reflect? Since father left, She had to struggle emotionally and mentally to bring us up and to make sure we have luxury life as possible. and all your contribution is .... "WHEN I GET I RICH, I WILL GIVE MY RICHNESS TO MY ONLY GRANDMOTHER". My reply "WAH.. SO INSPIRING...NOT!". have you ever think what you wrote reflect on your mother? sheesher the weezer!. I thought you are my inspiration that I can look up to but your attitude just suck soo much that even my sis would agree on this.

Seeing my mother cried and approach to me whenever she had problems, My heart just torn apart. I love both mother and grandmother. As you readers know, my mother is my inspiration. Seeing her struggle so hard, thinking how life can be, just make me motivate to become a better person. I hope when I have children, I want them to look up to their grandmother and perceive her as their inspiration instead. =)

Ok, i guess i end here. TTYS!

2009-07-02T23:48:00.000-07:00

I must learn to face reality.

I have been living in my world of my imagination.

I always been a imaginator.

Not knowing when to stop, to start or to pause.

Picture says it all

2009-07-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

"Raizal, stay strong. Be brave. Cry and scream. Dont be afraid."

THANK YOU.=)

2009-07-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

TTYL. =)

2009-07-02T01:21:00.000-07:00

( and Finally, can upload pictures!)

School is pathetic humdrum to the max.

School that gives stupid rules. e.g: NO THERMOMETHER, CANNOT ENTER CAMPUS

Better off without schooling if they imply this nonsensical rules.

End this mundane days quickly, someone ( you ) save me!.

Why I trust people so easily

Why on earth I put my hope highs

Too high, too disappointing result in the end.

Pathetic,pathetic,pathetic

Better of knowing that life needs hurt

Life needs mistakes

and I hope I learn from it one day.

Hopefully

2009-07-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

I dont know why I cant upload pictures in my blog.*confused*

Forget about it.

Sex me up with your tools
and drive me nuts til the next noon.
Oh baby, dont cha wanna dance upon me
Cause im going to slave myself for you.

2009-06-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

School starts tommorrow. I do not know what to say though as some part of me says "Yessah! school is back!" but other part of me says "Shit! I might not know. H1N1 lurking behind those walls". Whatever, I cant no longer bear with shitty E-learning at all. The word "learning" in E-learning is soooo tak perlu eh as I dont learn anything at all. sheesh!

Mum suprised me yesterday as she told me her boss lend her these RnB classic hits CD and asked me to copy to my laptop. Soo classic but yet so good to listen.LOL. Ok i guess I end here. TTYL!

2009-06-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

Damn it, I wanted to upload the e-learning worksheet but I cant as when I uploaded it, it became hang and strange sounds heard from my comp. WTF!.Watever, heck care it.I just bought this laptop and I hope nothing went wrong. *pray*.Ok, currently, Im bored. Update later

2009-06-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

(Gambar alien. Muke mcm siak)
Rotting at home is killing me.

I miss school-food, classmates and friends.

How I wish school without studying but that is weird.

Watching back, meteor garden for the fourth time.

Then, watch absolutely boyfriend for the second time.

Gosh, I am a drama freak

but not as freak as my sister is. bluek!

2009-06-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

Friend : Raizal, What is your dream?

Me: Huh? *Confused*

Friend : Just asking. *smile*

Me: Be good and recognised by my talent. Or perhaps maybe make something good of it. Why? *still confused*

Friend : Oh. Give me your right hand

Me: For?

Friend: Just give. Dont ask alot of question

Me: *gave my friend my right hand*

Friend : Ok, Wish your dream to come true

Me: Err, Ok

Friend : Let me toss a coin.

Me: What the hell? What I am suppose to do with this right hand of mine dammit? Are you doing lame jokes cause I am soo totally not into it right now.

Friend: No Baka, just listen. If I threw this coin,catch it with your right hand. If it shows tail, your dream will be opposite but if it show head, your dream will come true.

Me : Lame.

Friend : Just do it. I want to see. For fun.

Me : *give up*. fine. I do it.

*toss it and catch it. I got tail.*

Friend: *smile*

Me: Ok, I never going to achieve my dream. Happy?

Friend : Yeah, Not because you never going to achieve your dream but because you choose what you going to believe. If you choose to believe this coin, then you playing "the fate game".

Me: "fate game?"

Friend : relying everything on fate.

Me: oh,I do that sometimes. Why?

Friend: Why you choose fate when you can change your own fate?

Me: * silent*

Friend: Dont be silly. You know what I am talking about.

*He walks away*

Guess, he is right. If I choose to believe everything happens because of fate, then I never going to achieve my dream. Every thing happens for a reason and that reason happens to be known by us. I can change my own fate, so why I am relying on fate itself. Typical young boy, pity myself.

2009-06-28T00:10:00.000-07:00

Life is such a ching-a-ling$

After two days in hospital waiting for my result, I came to a conclusion on the importance of life. Perfection in life is somehow mundane that leads to un-adventurous living life but embracing imperfection leads to unexpected path of living. People like us craving for a perfect life and making sure things go by the way they wanted it to be but suprises is one way of excitement. During my time in the hospital, I noticed one of the waiting patient keep on praying for his health and by that, It strucked me so badly. I began to know that how "ching-a-ling$" life is. I think is too waste for me to throw it away when I know suprises are there to be unfolded. =)

Handsome/pretty is bored, Ugly but adorable is irresistable. =) . Thanks to Isya and Chris for making me realised that cute people is irresistable. I saw a couple of them but I did not think my time yet because love is not game of rush but instead a game of adventure that awaits. Moreover, I still could not get over..... you.

Yesterday , I went to Jurong point for dinner with family. Somehow, My mood yesteday was bad that I kept scolding and insult people surrounding me. I did not know why, perhaps, crowding places is not my type. Dance training was in halt as I need plenty of rest , Maybe today i start from the beginning where it all started. =)

Ok, I guess I got to pop up those medicine after I ate my dinner now. Bye.

2009-06-27T04:02:00.001-07:00

Just came back from hospital. I was quarantined in hospital since yesterday and I have to overnight there. I got to say, It was not that comfortable for me. Too long story to write here. Maybe, if u interested, I tell you the story. TTYL!

2009-06-26T01:36:00.000-07:00

Down with flu,cough,fever and sore throat. WTH. I am not feeling well today and I want to healed fast because I dont want to stay sick for days. Oh god, Pray for my health. Bye2

2009-06-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Simply ignore my last two posts. It was just the adaptation from my friend's sayings. I decided to post it because I felt sympathy in my friend's situation. Moving on, I have been quarantined in my home for one week due to H1N1 virus and hopefully I did not have one cause I am having sore throat and so called flu today. Just now, My family and I went to Abg nizam's house as to visit him cause he has been a fever's patient for these past few days. Hopefully he will be alright again. Home school is sooooooo not fun. I miss my friends. and most importantly, you.

bye2.

2009-06-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

Im not lovesick. Im ok.

2009-06-25T01:45:00.000-07:00

It hurts to know that you are not part his life.
It hurts to see you been treated like this
It hurts not to see you be happy

How I wish I am not like this
How I wish I did not see you
How I wish times like this did not happen
And how I wish you be gone , forever

"It is raining. Walking along the streets in this wet clothes and pants. Tears drowned inside these raindrops. I need to escape from this life, someone help me to mend this infected heart"

Let this be the last of all
Let this be the end of chapter
Let this be the goodbye between you and him.Sayonara, jiro-kun.

2009-06-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

TIRED

Practice ends till 10 pm. Supposingly, 6.30 pm but we dragged till 10 pm cause lukman was not happy with my basics.Sheesh.

Today = rest
Tmr starts training.

One day, I will get there.

2009-06-23T20:39:00.001-07:00

Class today is totally mundane.
Im lost.
Probablility is a killer for me.
Oh, how I wish time go pass by quickly.

Plan for today.

After school-dance training-back home-dance traning.

Luckily, I am well-rested. bye2.

2009-06-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

I told you, Love is such a complicated things to understand.
I am glad I stay single but hey, who does not love to mingle. =)
For all I care, I want to enjoy life to the fullest when I am still young
Relationship is such a prison life
No offense, but stay single you got yourself all by yourself.
For god's sake, I am still 18 years old.
Involving myself in such a prison's life, I just insulting the real meaning of love
I agreed, we love others by just physical, looks and sex pleasureness when we are young
Wait, till you are mature enough. I repeat eh, mature enough to know what is the real meaning of love. till then, bye.

2009-06-22T02:33:00.000-07:00

School was hectic fuck. Rumors about H1N1 virus suspect was told to be found in our building. Well, it is true but nothing really important like quaratine the whole building. -.-. It was just a suspicion so no deduction can be concluded. Basically, Monday's blue really got to my teammates.

Hus = facebook-ing
Sarah = facebook-ing
Me = Pokemon-ing
Nieeya = Msn-ing
Ash = Msn-ing

Well, what to do. Nothing can really stop us from doing our own things. Wore batman shirt today that I bought from Batam. Stella really adore my shirt and said that Purple and me are matching. (???). Anyho, I have already planned what to wear tmr (kiasu me).Cognitive and Im soooooo not ready. sheesh.

POKEMON FEVER IS BACK!. HAHAA. :P

2009-06-21T06:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Wucar1vxQ&NR=1

Is it a must-watch-movie.

2012

However, I think that this movie is a bit nonsensical in a sense that when it comes to the end of the world, We muslims think that the door to forgiveness has been closed. Therefore, there is no use of forgiving before you die during the end of the world. No escaping but IT IS A MUST WATCH MOVIE THOUGH!

2009-06-21T04:56:00.000-07:00

Relaxing weekends to Batam,Taking a break from everything else.

Spent my weekends with family gathering which held in Batam. Overall, It was a blast though there is few "hiccups" here and there due to money crisis and communication problems (Dont ask why). I was elated that I went for this trip as my heart was not in the mood of a holiday initially. However, spending my time with cousins was really one hell of a experience. I guess I just summarise some of the events.

We went for shopping most of the time. I spent my mom's money like nobody bussiness. She bought me two quite expensive t-shirt (hehehe) and obviously food here and there. Actually, I was no mood to shop at that time due to tiredness and also hungryness. The good thing is that I am not a obssesive spender like my brother who constantly asked my mother to buy him stuffs. Sheesh. So, anyway, We spent our night at quite luxury, I must said, Hotel at batam called Novotel. Though I dont like the facilities there as there is no much fun to play with. But night's out is fun.

At night, My cousins and mom(chapperon) went for clubbing and dance our hearts out. Very outraging madness with crap dances from unknown people and Of course, M18 girl's pole dancing(eww).But we have fun.Yeah!

Then, went back to singapore about noon. Now, I am totally shagged so I guess I will rest for today.

PHOTOS WILL BE UPLOADED SOON.

2009-06-19T00:27:00.000-07:00

Basically, My thoughts that I thought about poly is the thought of the false thought which made me thought poly's life is much complicated than what I thought right now. I thought poly's life is something I should embrace as I have the assurance of the maturity in each person I came across with in this poly. However, It kills that maturity is such a behind-the-close-doors and I personally hate it. Im sure everyone here is fake and somehow I play in their own game. Playing is such fun thing to do but sometimes I wanted to raise the white flag. Do not even started with loyalty? cheezer the weezers. I hate it. There is no such thing as good friends, best friends or cliques here because like I said, fake is the key word. Yea, its under the line stress. However, plus the school stuffs, is such a earthquake problem. Sheesh, forget about it. Hard to explain but I prefer schooling in La salle where I can pursue something that do not kill in second by second.

P.S: " In the class, I found two red rats. Somehow, My heart has the emotions of hating them but I pretend myself to prefer everything to be PERFECTLY o.k. but the truth is, I want to be the anaconda!...."

Going home alone.... again.. and again...

2009-06-18T13:14:00.001-07:00

(maybe one day, i will take over the world)

It was 4.14 am in the morning, I just wake up from my sleep. Night's sky are beautiful, silence is nice but I miss the presence. Sometimes, thinking about life, I thought It was destined by just go-with-the-flow type but somehow, I felt that life was destined if you choose how it was going to be destined. I just want to be a normal kid, not saving the world, not becoming someone that ends up without probably nothing. I just want to be the kid who enjoys every bits of life and embrace every seconds of his life without being oblivious to the surrounding. These days, I felt I was a walking zombie and what hurts the most, being apart from people I love. If any kind of miracles just fall upon my shoulder, my life definately going to be different. Just once, I want to enjoy life with something different.

My life now is like routine, tired and bored of it. What makes life interesting? perhaps maybe someday I will find that answer.....

"love will...." his voice.

2009-06-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

Shessh, Im out from jim bean comp. Dont ask why. I preferred to be personal. Btw, thanks Alvin for massaging my back while blogging. Gonna massage him for some other time. Yesterday, supposingly we must have Gin'class but she went for doctor's appointment(hopefully you are o.k) so seniors take over. Isolation reviews and stuffs. Ok. Im bored. Bye.

2009-06-17T15:34:00.000-07:00

(Edited by : Nat )

Sometimes, POLY's life is such a fake.

Reverse to the time, get back to the start where i meet these girls.

They are my favourite.

Hugs and kisses.

"I miss talking to you guys.

Lets go back to the start. shall we?"

2009-06-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

Slept around 9 pm and wake up around 3 am in the morning. Now, there is nothing to do. bye.

" What you trying to do ? fuck, that person is attach and + you are just committing yourself in basically nothing. Seriously, you must get a life. "

thanks. alot.

2009-06-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

I am awake! I have full rest yesterday. Slept about 10pm and wake up about 7.10 am. A day rest is enough to recover and now back to dance training and practices and whateve shits..... sheesh!.

What hurts the most?

- Not bruises

- Not the aftermath of sex

- Not when your bone is been dislocated

- Not operation

"What hurts the most,

was being so close

And having so much to say

And watchin you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do"

I agreed. Totally.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me.I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.I'm not afraid to cry.Every once in a while even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me.There are days,Every now and again I pretend I'm okay but that's not what gets me. It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go.But I'm doin' it.It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone.Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret.But I know if i could do it overI would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.

Sayonara.

2009-06-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

I left with one string of hope.
Love is such a confusing word
Somehow I "love but hate" that word
String of hope that I willing to cut it.
Love is such a headache subject
Why the word "love" comes about
Love go away now
I wanna be liked by others
When time are kind to me
Maybe i start believing in LOVE
For now, Sayanora to my heart
Dying away and drifting away
Scientist claimed that I am heartless
I am but what right now is that Im bored
Understand what im trying to say
I give you a kiss on the cheek
saying " you dont noe me at all"

bye.

2009-06-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

Tired is the word.

Came back from dance practice(ends= 10.30pm)with FSB and reach home = 11.30pm

Tired is the word

Schedule for tmr(starting from 12 am) - dance training-school-dance training with instructor larry-home.

Tired is the word

sayanora

2009-06-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

It explained why my face like ......... SHIT

It explained why I feel so tired

It explained why I did not feel myself today

THREE WORDS : NOT ENOUGH SLEEP.

Bye.

2009-06-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

That is my wanted list for this year( or this month). Everything can be resolved with one solution : MONEY!. Yeah, I need to stop my habit of being a such a spender in my money. Wish I have a genie.

Genie in the bottle baby!

2009-06-14T05:55:00.000-07:00

TWO WAYS SEEING

Honestly, in a first glance, what you see in that picture? a duck ? or a rabbit?. I saw both. I saw both creatures which tells me I can see both ways of a person. I do not judge that person on how they look but I judge them on their ways of living. Thus, some people thought I was being arrogant when they first saw me( err ok ) and some people thought I was 100% introvert( 50% true to that statement). Actually, I am differ from that. I am not arrogant but instead I am friendly. I am not 100% introvert because I tends to ask alot of question( curious boy ). So yeah, Two ways of seeing of others is better than one.

P.S: Tommorrow schooling, I bet most of them are going to be marked "late". LOL

2009-06-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

.......FarEasTakashimaya.......

Things my sister and Abg nizam bought for me for today's outing :

Supposingly, our family were planning to spend our weekends by having some fun at Marina Barage even though I am still not feeling that well. I am still recovering from flu and sore throats(shucks!). And I have to go for Flair'nation outing tommorrow at Sentosa. I do not think I can(sorry guys!) because firstly, I am still sick and my mother does not allow me to go due to "family day". Ok, back to our topic, So apparently, our plan had been cancelled due to the silly weather( -.-). Therefore, I spent my day with my sis and her fiance. We went to Far east , shopping here and there( especially my sister) and thanks to her , She bought me a new t-shirt which have the same design as her and her fiance(Abg nizam). She is such a sweetheart as she pampered me with food and unnecessary stuffs such as my "shit list"( As you readers can see above from the picture).

Basically, If you readers ask " what the fuck is Shit list". Is kind of pad that helps to bring the power of organization to your grudges and find psychological well-being through mere act of writing grievances down. There is alot of different kind of pad such as " Reasons why you MUST have sex with me" , " Mood Alert" and more( I forgot). So yeah, Ate at KFC because It was been a long time I did not eat there. Thanks Sis and Abg nizam!.

Went home, Sis, Abg nizam and Mum went for karaoke session with Uncle Zul. They asked me to tag along but I find it mundane went I reach there because ..... Everyone there is ADULT! so yeah, I aint no singer, I am dancer and a gamer( hehehe). So, yeah... duh, I choose to stay at home.

I kinda confused and puzzled when I read HiphopIg tag board about someone trying to persuade the seniors to Re-audition again for the freshies. Let me repeat eh, Re-audition again for the freshies. Due to some opinions and thinking. He/she(only god knows!) said that some people who perform well in the dance exam does not get in and trying to ADVISE the seniors. I mean, Come one, you are talking to you SENIORS of hiphopig like that. They could get offended in some ways you know. I know there would be dissapointment and stuffs but the word RESPECT is important. Respect the decision and if you have the passion in dance, keep on dancing and try out for next year. Ok? =)

Ok, im bored. really. someone entertain me please. I need entertaiment now. Any kind. LOL. OK bye sweet peeps!.

2009-06-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

Blissful and Loving life.

True enough, I was surrounded by good,supportive and loving peers. Sometimes I realise that life is unfair,however thinking about such people in my life, bring hope and smile in me. Thanks to such people and hopefully this world is heading towards a peaceful time.

Slept about 10 am in the morning and wake up about 7 pm in the evening. I think my sleeping time is getting worst and worst which somehow need to be corrected back to normal time.(think? more like KNOW) School starts next week and I guess I have to force myself to sleep on sunday no matter what it takes. (counting goats in the sky?).

Life is imperfect, Beauty is imperfect. I am imperfect and proud of it. Bye sweet peeps!.

2009-06-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

<3>

Love is joy. Ans: Not really.
Love is pain. Ans: Not really.

What is love then? Something magical? Something Miracle? Ans: Perhaps.

Diversity of defination of love is always been heard.

-"Love is blind"
-"Love is meant to prove, not by just saying the "3 words, 8 letters" sentence. Its to "voice out" (DO!) what your heart tells you about the special someone. Love is about giving smiles in people's life and touched people's heart. Love may not be only to the special someone, but to the people surround you"
-"Love is unconditional. But I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing - Stardust."
-"love is just love..you got to feel it to understand it..in case its ur first time..u will this weird feeling in your heart..which u yourself cant explain to people in words..that is love.."
-"Love is accepting others of who they are, giving them unconditional love and sacrifice themselves to make you happy. "( Given by me )

Inevitably, people kept asking what is the meaning of love. Honestly, I getting sick and tired of hearing it. If you are in pit hole of darkness, take a rock and lit up the fire. Perhaps you are undergoing some sort of only-god-knows what they hell you been going through, but it was quite strangely abnormally if you ask people what is the meaning of love. Sure, there is big book of words called dictionary that can be found in library. Search the word "Love", gosh you know the meaning. I understand that maybe you are confused, hurt, puzzled,sad and whatever adjective words to describe what shitty emotions you felt but me,myself and I also in deep confusion. Why you asking the meaning of love? what the benefits you get?Because the answer you get will always be the positive side of love. Lets try negative side shall we?

-Love brings pain
-Love is like invitation for more pain
-Love hurts

and so on , so forth.

So, tell me WHAT YOU GET BY ASKING?

Im 100 % ok peeps. However, It really gets to me. I love helping people but please get to the point and do not tangled up in grandmother whatever shit stories you going to tell me.Sheesh!

Ok, basically it is 6 am in the morning. People are waking up , preparing themselves to work , some schooling and me?, Still awake like a walking zombie. Next week, school starts which really not excite me at all. Dont noe why but I really want to go for Gin's class. She is like my source of inspiration. :P. Congratz to people who made it through to HipHopIG. Adam, Isya,Mus(minah Bapz),YaoWei,Elia(Minah Bustard) and many more. Not so sure who is it because Im not that popular anyway to start with. -.-.....

Ok, I guess I stop here and take a rest and ZOOM to sleepville. bye2 sweet peeps.

2009-06-11T08:59:00.001-07:00

Down with ever,flu and cough after the bootcamp. Excluding me, Adam told him he was sick too. I guess bootcamp training was really getting to us. Ok, school starts really soon. (Next week. -.-). I miss W36F but I miss myself more( what the fuck Im talking). Basically, nothing is the word to describe for today. Slept about 7 am in the morning and wake up about 6pm in the evening. Ridiculous? I know. I think I wanna rest for today because i have been dancing like non-stop these past few days. I felt like Im taking a drug(not literally!). OK, Guess i end here. Any interesting news, i will tell you guys personally. Bye Sweet peeps!.

2009-06-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

22 feets -Stomp the foot as one-

Gin's class during the Bootcamp. ( Im the wearing black shirt and green shorts. Well, the tallest!)

2009-06-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

just cried due to this movie. Is a sequel from its series. I have watched the series long time ago but unknowingly there is a movie as well. So, i take my time off watching dance videos and instead watch this movie. I have to say , I regretted it, not in a bad way. Because it was way too sad for me to handle it. I admit, Im a bit emotional at times. Gosh, these movie made me cried so badly.(shessh). If you guys wanna watch this movie, It is a must to watch its episode first to understand and prepare a box of tissue. (soo over sia!). But thumbs up for this movie!.

Stil recovering from my muscle cramp. Camp was fun and I love my 22 feet crew. Though we did not win, we still have fun and clicked so amazingly. All the minahs, rock and all the mats, rockers! . I still love our conversation at night(ehemm2).hahaha. Hope to hang out with you guys again.

Oh ok, m maybe going for dance pract with FSB. tired but see how. ok bye!

(NOT colours for today)

2009-06-05T04:24:00.000-07:00

PACKING to CAMPING to DANCING...

I spent about an hour to pack my stuffs for ONE DAY bootcamp in RP. (Seriously,trust me). I dont know what the hell I have packed. They said 3 Danceable outfits( Shirts + shorts), P.E attire(another outfit.sheesh) and Sleeping attire( ANOTHER OUTFIT). Is it too much for a one day camp? yeah I think so but there is nothing I can do , Better to be safe than sorry. So pack about 4 bottoms( excluding the bottoms I going to wear tommorrow. Either Dance jeans or Black bboy shorts[i forgot what is that called]). About 5 or 6 tops. I know, Kiasu. Whatever, shssh!. Hopefully, tommorrow there is no "wardrobe Malfunction". *Pray to god*

Basically, today is "Nothing-to-do day". Mundane is the word to describe my friday. I dont feel angry as I felt I need a rest for a day and prepare for tommorrow SGC bootcamp. Damn, Lukman does not need to go since Ragu knew that Lukman was onced in SGC and get kick out for some reasons( god knows). He auditioned it again and Ragu said that he no need to go for bootcamp. For god sake, He is in year 3. LOL . Nvm, With lukman around, you can hear his non-stop dance talking shits. Some are useful, some are......errr....

Wake up about 4pm today. Seriously need to re-adjust my sleeping time. Hopefully, today I can get enough sleep for tommorrow. If not, I will be late and there is forfeit for latecomers to camp. Hmmmm, wonder who came up with the idea of forfeiting latecomers. Must be experience dancers as dancers usually knows that in general, dancers like to procrastinate. Is the habit. Good way to adapt such situation, Seniors. :P

Watch naruto episode(anime one). I felt so touched by the story between yukimaru and guren. GUREN STILL ALIVE!!. YEAH!. thanks to gozu.(arigato). However , its kinda sad that yukimaru has lost his power and the story between guren and him has ended. They stay together and protect each other . Its sad but happy though. Cant wait for next week episode and THEN MANGA for this week. FASTER!

I miss school's food. HAHA. (omg, so random). Yeah, i miss school. Not the lesson part, classmates make me miss them. However, I wont cry like nieeya did(ehem2heheheh). Oh ok, nvm. Sooner or later we meet again folks.

Currently, I felt soo restless as my muscle is aching. Big time. My neck,side stomach and shoulders. Sshhsh. I got to bear the pain man. Work it out for the god!.

Ok readers, blog later( waiting for my sister to buy me food!). BYE2

2009-06-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

(Indeed im BLUE......)

2009-06-04T12:42:00.000-07:00

Support FSB and Flair'tacious on 19th june at JimBean. More info regarding the location and criteria to get in the club, Buzz me or any of the flair'nation members. At the link column, there is flair'nation link, go to their blog for more info. Anyho,DONT FORGET TO COME!!!.

P.S: I tell you guys earlier oredi ar. So must come ok!.Bye. =)

2009-06-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

Blue-Black!!!

Currently, my left knee have blue-black. Wanna know why? Just now practice, I have to jump over ahmad and do the slide straight away. WAH!, firstly, it was damn tiring because I have to do it like many times + it was painful at one point till I made the decision not to slide first. After my knee heal, I will do the slide. HOWEVER, it was fun. Sort of bonding moments among the rest of us. And bboy is fun to do !. True to what Rella said. *nod head*

Tommorrow, REST! Yesssah!. There is not FSB practice But2.... I must practice at home. Train myself more. That is what dancer job is. aite? :P

Speaking about dancing stuffs, Two days to SGC bootcamp. Feel enthu? hmmm, dont noe. maybe. I going to let adam outshine me. hahaha.

STROKE OF LUCK!, today i did not sleep at bus and which means i did stop at the right bus stop. Not like yesterday *roll eyes*. And thanks Mummy for letting me went for dance practice and give me 2 dollars for the transport money.haha

Just now during the practice, it was fun with Flair'tacious(girls in flair). Loo and me cant stop making ourselves look stupid, AFRICAN DANCER!. Artynie, as usual, crack me up non-stop. Talking about her non-stop spontaneous jokes. But2 dont look down on them. They are bunch of talented dancers. They are my girls what! must be proud.

Yesterday i slept about 5 am and wake up at 4pm +. I wonder how Loo slept at 6 am and wake up early to go to school. I mean , wah! damn tired!. Even i can breakdown anytime man. But wish gd luck to Loo for her exam and also Mervin.

Reached home about 11pm. I cooked chilli eggs coz there is no fried noodle left. *sheesh!*. After i ate i straight playing comp. As usual(DUH!). While playing comp, watch transformer at HBO. Damn shiok the last part. I feel like i want my family car to be a transformer. hahaha. Best aite?crazy.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST.....

Kiss my ass people of the world!!! haha kidding. bye.

2009-06-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

Fennie Miss w36f.. So do i !. <333

2009-06-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

Tired!!!

Just came back from dance practice with FSB(Flair Feat Ahmad Bboy). Tired. Tired and super tired. We have to finish like two routines just now and I think I having trouble though.*Mad face*. Tommorrow, practice again. Wah!!. ( ok raizal, be strong bitch ! take it and show what you got! Jia Yo!) *Inner Raizal has spoken*. Hahaha

Speaking about dance, I felt like I have SOOOO different style than flair. They more japanese hiphop style however I more to L.A dance where you concentrate more on isolation, precision and stuff. Japanese hiphop style concentrate more in bouncing and grooving. Damn, Maybe i should combine both styles and make it my own. WOhooo!. hahaha

OK enough with the dancing shit, Guess what, I felt like ! # % @ just now. I took the 963 bas and overslept til I reached at hillview. I was like " Shit!, Oh my god!". Luckily, i have like 2 dollars in my pocket to go back Bukit panjang. Pheww * Wipe forehead*. If not, I will turn into Prositute for a day and sell myself to get money. *hehehe*. Who wants me ? Im ugly slut aite?. :P

Reached home, Found grandma left me some fried rice. ( Thank you MAK!). After i ate, now im at comp. Blogging, listening to music and facebook-ing, youtube-ing and maybe later dance till 4 am. haha. Crazy bitch!.

Ok till here people of the world.Blog tommorrow ok? Love you readers! mUaks!!heheehe

2009-06-03T01:09:00.000-07:00

My own Therapy

She forbid me to have one

I dont hate her

I know what she is trying to do

Love is indeed an invitation for more pain.

2009-06-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Trip to malacca was .....err.... OKOK.

I went to malacca last saturday and went back last sunday. Just one day, yeah. It was family thingy-wedding and I had to go no matter what(damn!) which means I have to skip flair's practice on that sunday. Arrgh!, now I have to put extra brains and extra body so that I can keep up with them. I did not know most of the step. SHESSH!*slap on the head*. Tommorrow, die2 must come or not,die2 DIE!.

Back to the topic to malacca, the journey was quite oblivious to me as I was Zzz all the way to malacca. LIKE BABY SHIT!. Thanks to Abg nizam for driving us back and forth. ARIGATO! Reached malacca, about noon, i think . Then guess what i do ? SLEEP!......... AGAIN!. oh my god, I feel like a father of the pigsville when im in malaysia. I sleep quit alot of times. PHEWW*Eyes went shock*.

( funny la this pic. Like feeling2 .... WTF)

(sis also sleep. TIRED!)

Btw, the hotel, i tell you. I give 0 stars. no offense, but really, sucks!. The toilet thingy where you want to pump all the dirty things inside the drain( i dont noe what is that called. SHSSH! i forget the name lah!) cannot worked. Like what aite!, Luckily i shit, can work if not, ...............EWWW!!!. I slept with abg nizam and his bro. OK lah, one night. all tired. ntg to do actuali. The hotel have no remote control and the quality is like dog shit or even worst, cow shit!. ( WaH!, so bad !. sorry2!). hahaha

This is what i wore to the wedding. So what aite! i look short! yeah!.hahaha. I think i wore this type of style to school before. And everyone asked me. " Raizal, why you look so handsome today?". I was like....errr dont noe?... coz i just grabbed whatever i have in my closet. Funny thing is that i can gossip about people's wearing with my dearest classmate, marcel. Let me recall the conversation.

Me: " did you notice that she wore that shirt and that shorts before. Like many times."
Marcel:"Yeah"(laugh)
Me:"Oh great, i though i was the only one who notice it." *pheww*
Me:"she could at least wear something different. Same shirt and different shorts or shoes"
Marcel:" Haha. Did you notice what fred wearing?. He wear the same jacket everyday"
Me:"yeah.hahaha"
Marcel:"Raizal, not everyone is like you. You have tons of clothes in your closet."
Me:"no.....Hahaha"

I admit, I wear something different everyday to school. Matchy2 or something compliments each other accessories. Hahaha. OK, fine. I try to lower my sense of style.*dont overdo it*

OK back to the topic(sidetrack only!), The weather at that time was fucking hot like crazy. Imagine i wearing that "costume" in that scorching hot sun, But weird thing is that i dont sweat!. Y? dont noe. hahaha. guess i used to it.hahaha.

After everyting went well, we head back to singapore. Nothing much lah. No event, never go shopping coz is just a family emergency call to wedding.hahah. WEIRD!.

ok till here, sayonara babes!

2009-06-02T01:09:00.000-07:00

MORNING!(OPPS,AFTERNOON!)

Now, the time is 4.10pm and i just woke up. Shocking?.Like hell no, i tend to sleep til 8 am in the morning and woke up about 7 pm in night if it is school holidays. But for these two weeks, I stop myself at about 6am in the morning and wake up about 4pm like that. cool aite2?LOL.

When i woke up, i went straight to the kitchen, DAMN HUNGRY. Grandma cooked delicious spicy chili chicken. YUMMMY!. After i have eaten my so called " breakfast", i wanted to play call of duty in my xbox360. But, Fuck, my gold membership had expired. Like dogshit aite?!. ! @ # $ ^. i should have buy Ps3, xbox360 is such MA FAN!. Now, i think i have to stuck playing either halo wars or fallout 3. wah, damn shiok!. (sarcasm intended).

You guys know what, have you ever wondered what it feels like getting someone ass in your face?? well, i show you these video link in youtube. ( ENIMEM GET ASSED!WOHOOO!).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4s14yjOjEM&feature=channel_page

Even i got assed, I will be damn FUCK UP LAH!. But i know someone who might like it, someone who might enjoy it. Is ALVIN YOCK KIAT!. LOL. he will just suck his dick or ass( which ever come first) off and give that guy the pleasure he wants. Right alvin?LOL. <3

I think today, i want to watch j,k,t drama. I love watching meteor garden, It was damn Shiok i tell you guys. I watch three times oredi and i cried. WHAT!.hahaha. But watch too many times, i will know the story plots and it was not that unpredictable. So what should i watch? hana yori dango(done), Hana Kimi (done), Koizora(done), Boys before flower(havent yet but lazy to watch , is the same storyline as hana yori dango), absolute boyfriend(done and i cried like a horny bitch get bang watching this story), coffee prince(done!). so what now?Haiyooo!

today, stay at home AGAIN. Thursday, i went for practice and maybe that free health screening in RP. Free what? hahaha. My body damn cramped oredi. Yesterday i dance till 4 am and practicing my bounce and isolation until my body cramped. wah!, damn tired but wont give up one. HHAHAH.

Talking about dance, Cant wait fr the bootcamp.(sooo enthu!!)ok whatever, I just wana learn dance from people. Increase my knowledge.

My new dog. I just bought yesterday at nearby pet shop. I named him horny hotdog. Coz he cant stop licking me. WHAT!. btw, wassup with me and horny-nesss. SHSSSH!!.

what wanna talk about now ? I dont noe, i will post anything here later ok if i gt news or gossip. haha. okok. BYE people of the world.